To The Seattle Mariner’s Organization

To John McLaren et all:

I found a solution to our pitching problems. I saw him Friday afternoon Downtown on First Avenue. He was crossing the street from east to west I think on Columbia (give or take a block). He’s a right hander with a mean fastball. I mean, you should have seen the heat coming off of this water bottle there was almost some steam. AND, when that bottle of water bounced off of the silver Tahoe heading northbound I know there had to be one hell of a dent.

He can also hold his own in an argument. I know he could give any ump a run for his money with that vocabulary. You should have heard the choice words he had for the driver of that Tahoe. Who knows, the driver of the Tahoe could have been an ump. He was definitely driving like he was blind.

Anyways, I’ll be sure to keep my eye out for him and tell him he should consider going for a “walk on” spot.