Last night I was jumping around from coffee place to coffee place having a hard time finding a place where I could get some work done. When I would find a place, the Wifi connection would be about as “fast as old people……. walking”. So what was I to do?
I knew Jabus has WiFi but didn’t really want to go there because it’s usually a weekend spot and not a weekday spot. So I figured it would be a good time to pop in, get some work done, and maybe try their hot wings.
Gotta say, the wings were decent. Nothing spectacular and I have definitely had worse. So let’s start with the good:
- They were good sized wings with a lot of meat
- The breading was perfect. Not too much and not too little.
- The bleu cheese dressing that came with the order was good with the appropriate ratio of bleu cheese chunks in it.
- Even the little carrots were good. Wait, where was the celery? hmmm….
So you’re probably saying by now “how could they be bad”? Well, I wanted them HOT! The hotness of these wings was perfect for a skinny little 7 year old who cries whenever he skins his knee. I love HOT wings. I’m talking about wings that make you sweat. I’m talking about wings that make you go through a couple pitchers of water. I’m talking about wings that make you pause a few minutes between each new wing. Every now and then I like some hot wings that make you do a little prayin’ the next morning if you know what I mean.
So anyways, the wings at Jabus are a little tame but still very good.
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I went to Hell a few years ago. No seriously, I took a public transit route that few people know about through a filthy old tunnel which then spirals down about 437 levels of the Abyss. At level 435 I got off and caught a people mover down to the “Hottest Wingdome In Hell” restaurant– it’s right next to a Denny’s and an ImpSmart– if you’ve ever been to level 435 you know what I am talking about when I say the area is uncomfortably crowded.
Just like your blog here, the thing that surprised me was that the wings aren’t that hot. It’s mandatory table service coupled with a ridiculous tip on level 435, but I think you can understand the blank and blase stare of disappointment the waiter gave me when I sheepishly prodded “These wings aren’t hot — What the hell is going on around here?”.
Did they offer to remake? No. Could I have orded them extra hot? No. Did I care that they were bat wings and not chicken wings? No. Could I have asked myself why I even bothered to think the food would be satisfactory on level 435 of the Abyss? Yes. The answer? I guess I just romanticized that I’d find good eats travelling through Hell at lunch for some reason. Maybe I was being ideal…
There is one light point though. They tried to piss me off by serving warm beer, (as they’d go to any length) but somebody must have been on the nod, as I like warm beer as much as I like cold. No blood no foul! Hah on them!
Anyhoo, a Skeleton Warrior and I came to an agreement while waiting in line to pay for our tab, discussing the empty toothpick dispenser: 1. Not a lot of hospitality or friendly faces in the area. 2. Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin backwards 24/7 on the sound system, not necessary, even cheap. 3. The Hottest Wingdome in Hell on level 435 — never again!
Oh and by the way, their Bleu Cheese dressing contained no cheese!
A word to the wise, If you are traveling through hell, don’t naivley expect hot Hot Wings! Things in life just aren’t that obvious.